Halloween Horror in the Colne Valley

Not exactly a stairway to heaven 

Here’s a Halloween Horror to  walk between bobbing for apples and trick or treating.  Colne Valley footpath 80 has been turned into a monster mash walk by a bit of  wizardry gone wrong from our footpath guardians at Camelot Council.

Step 1. Find the steps.

Now this isn’t a path that has been spellbound  and left to sleep for a hundred years like sleeping beauty. Far from it. Camelot Council were here just a few years ago following reports of witchcraft  being practiced at the top of the path. Turned out to be a new electronic security gate that walkers couldn’t get through.

Not the most welcoming of starts to a path

Our Camelot Council wizards got their spells muddled up and rather than making these gates disappear with a notice curse they accidently on purpose made them permanent on the proviso that walkers could push a magic button and pass through. Funny thing is when I walked up there this week the magic button wasn’t working. More spooky Halloween goings on? Or what was intended all along?

At the bottom of the path our Camelot Council wizards messed up their magic again. This time tricked by a troll who wouldn’t let them pass. The troll was very clever and got the Camelot Council wizards to fell trees in his garden and build a huge wooden staircase up the hillside to keep the path away from him. It didn’t cost him a penny either as the public who he wanted to keep away paid for it all!

Now no one walks this way anymore. The gates at the top are locked. The big staircase is overgrown and tangled with weeds and the path has all but disappeared.

This is what happens when Camelot Council gets its magic in a muddle. It’s job was to make the gate disappear so the public are not put off and can walk through easily. It could have worked a little magic at the bottom end to allow access but let itself be fooled into building an expensive  and unnecessary stairway  which only a few years later is impassable.


So despite the Camelot Council wizards having all the best spells to make things that shouldn’t be on public rights of way disappear they continually mess up and resort to “Ye Old Parchment Of Excuses” to fob folk off before doing a disappearing act themselves and leaving a mess like this behind.

Throw austerity into this cauldron of incompetence and the potion for cock ups and excuses becomes toxic.

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